Girl Talk
by sleep on stars
Summary: Ever wonder what guys and girls talk about when you're not with them? Well, so do these kids... xx Three-shot
1. Thinking

**WARNING: Before reading this, prep yourself for pure stupidness.**

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"I've realized something…" Miley stated as she pulled the soft blanket wrapped around her body, tighter. "And what's that?" Taylor asked one of her best friends. There the 4 girls sat in a circle, pigging out on everything greasy from fatty to just straight out so delicious it has to be terrible for you.

"I really want to know what boys talk about" she smiled. Selena let out a high pitch squeal full of joy causing Demi to jump and knock over the bowl of Swedish Fish. "Holy fish sticks Sel. Any louder!?" Demi exclaimed, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Sorry" Selena blushed, "It's just, I've always wanted to know what they talk about when we're not around!"

"You think they talk about us?" Taylor arched her eyebrow.

--

"You know, they're probably laughing about us right now..."Nick sighed. Joe looked up from his tambourine, "Who's they?"

"The girls, _obviously_!" David Henrie, one of their best friends rolled his eyes. "Why would they be laughing about us?" Mitchell piped in, interested in the new topic.

"Well" Nick paused, "What else would they be talking about?"

"Hmmm…" Joe tapped his index finger against his chin.

--

"Oh my god! I totally sneezed in his face today!" Demi exclaimed. "You did not!" Selena gasped. "SHE DID TOO! I WAS THERE!" Miley shouted. Demi buried her face into her hands, hiding from embarrassment, "Joe probably thinks I'm an idiot."

Taylor burst out into laughter. "What?" Selena lifted her head up while still rubbing Demi's back, trying to comfort her. Taylor slapped her hand over her mouth trying to suppress the giggles, after finally catching her breath she opened her mouth to speak; "You think that Joe, as in Joe Jonas, Mr. Oh my goodness! Look at me do a kick flip over Big Rob and then plummet to my death down the laundry shoot, thinks you're an idiot!?" she gasped for air.

Miley burst into laughter, holding her sides; "Oh my God! He went down the shoot again?!" she exclaimed.

"TWICE!" tears were falling down Taylor's face now, she was laughing so hard.

Selena and Demi were giggling along side the two other girls, "You think the boys get embarrassed about things they do around us too?" Selena wondered.

--

"She sneezed in your face?" Nick scrunched his nose up in displeasure. "It wasn't her fault though … I sort of, well … I kinda spit pepper onto her face" Joe sputtered.

"WHAT!?" David spit out his orange juice which he had been enjoying right up until that moment. Now all cluttering around Joe, where they were positioned in Mitchell's room, they all stared at him with shocked eyes.

"What?" Joe asked innocently.

"You never, _never_ spit pepper on a girl! Salt maybe! But, pepper … no, no, no!" Mitchell exclaimed, running his hands through his shaggy hair.

"Dude, what's the big deal?" Nick piped in.

"DON'T DUDE HIM! HE HAS THE ANSWERS MAN!" Joe exclaimed, grabbing onto the collar of Nick's shirt and shaking him.

"I wonder if the girls think this is just as big a deal…" David muttered to himself.

--

"Was it an "achoo" sneeze?" Miley pretended to sneeze softly, "or was it an "ACHOO!" sneeze?" Miley practically coughed out her lungs she sneezed so loudly.

"Uhh, in the middle?" Demi guessed. "Oh no…" Taylor's eyes widened.

"What?" Demi gasped, "What's with the 'oh no..'! Come on people! I'm dieing here!"

Selena watched the scene intently as she stuffed some peanut butter M&Ms into her lip-glossed mouth.

"Well, there may be a chance of him avoiding your calls for the next week" Miley answered meekly, "But after that… you're fine!" she smiled brightly, her mood changing in a flash.

"Oh great, I'm gonna be known as the girlfriend who's allergic to her boyfriend now!" Demi sighed.

--

"Wait a minute" Nick held up his finger to silence the group of boys, "Joe, why'd you have pepper in the first place?"

Joe shrugged his shoulders, "I heard it was bad luck to spill pepper so I always carry it around with me to make sure it never spills"

Nothing but silence.

"THAT'S SALT MAN!" Mitchell exclaimed.

"You've got to be kidding me…" David shook his head, flabbergasted.

--

"Hey, for all we know they could be talking about how hot Christina Aguilera looked at the American Music Awards last night" Selena shrugged her shoulders.

"Or about how cool that episode of 'House' was last night" Miley added.

"Miley … only you and Nick watch that show. Shut up babe" Demi giggled.

Miley just rolled her eyes playfully and bit the head off of her Swedish Fish.

"They're probably talking about the new music video Fall Out Boy is making" Taylor announced.

--

"I bet they're talking about how cute Christina's dress looked last night" David paused, "Even though well all know it wasn't cute cause she looked smokin'!" David put his hand up for Mitchell to high five. The two laughed and nudged each others shoulders, trying to communicate in that weird way boys did.

"Nah, Miley hated that dress and Taylor thought it was an abomination to the name of fashion" Nick shook his head.

"True…" Joe nodded, "And Selena was too focused on Shia Labouf to look at anything else."

"So then what could they be talking about!?"

--

"I'VE GOT IT!" Selena shouted. "What!?" all three girl's ears perked up. "You figured out what they're talking about?" Taylor was beaming. "Oh.." Selena stuttered, "I-I meant that I've got that cute new dress Neiman Marcus has up on my laptop" she flipped her laptop around to show the girls. Miley sighed, "Sel this isn't the time to be- ooh that _is_ cute!"

Demi rolled her eyes at the girls. "So we're never going to figure this out. Are we?"

--

"This is honestly hurting my head" David caressed his head in his hands. "I say we give up!" Mitchell offered. "AGREED!" Nick added.

"Guys!" Joe exclaimed while hopping up off Mitchell's bed, "You're just going to give up like that and throw in the towel? How could you give up that easily and be able to look at-"

"PIZZA'S HERE BOYS!" Mitchell's Mother called from downstairs.

"Alright, we gave up! All agreed!?" Joe exclaimed heading for the door.

"Yup we've all agreed" Nick shook his head.

xx

_"Girls are hopeless"_ the boys all said in unison.

_"Boys are hopeless"_ the girls all said in unison.

**

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**Pointless and stupid right? I thought it would be funny to see how that would go? Was I right? TELL ME IN YOUR REVIEWS! Cause you'll review right? Right? Aww, you will? Gosh, guys! Thanks!**

**P.S. Even you readers who NEVER review! Review! Cause I'd love to hear what you guys think too :)**

**xxEmilyKearsexx**


	2. Spying

**It's a three-shot now! :)  
**

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"Guys … I think it's time we made a list…" Joe declared with a mouth full of cheesy, gooey pizza. "List of what?" David asked after sipping his Coca Cola. "What the girls could be thinking about" Nick finished for Joe. He really didn't want to see Joe speak with cheese hanging out of his mouth again. Mitchell's mouth formed into the shape of an 'O'.

"Alright, first on the list…" Joe exclaimed, cracking his knuckles to emphasis his seriousness.

--

"A chart?" Demi arched her eyebrow. "I don't want to do any work!" Miley groaned, falling back into her extra squishy pillow. Nick had gotten it for her last week, for no reason at all. That's one of the things she loved most about him – he'd do the most random things all the time. That's it!

"I've got it! They're talking about something completely random!" Miley exclaimed. Taylor rolled her eyes, "Way to go Sherlock. You solved the mystery!"

Miley pouted at her friend's sarcasm. "I was just saying…"

"No, Miley makes a good point!" Demi argued. A giggle erupted from Selena's chest, "Yeah, I mean … come on Tay! You honestly think they could be talking about something _serious_?"

--

"It's something serious" David noted. "Yeah, something really important" Nick added, nodding his head. "Like … their …" Mitchell shuddered before continuing, "period"

Joe arched his left eyebrow, "You honestly had to go there man?"

"Dude, Miley made me go get her tampons last week. I'VE NEVER EVEN BEEN IN THAT AISLE BEFORE! You know how embarrassing it was having 12 year old girls spying on me? They're moms just sent me these disgusted glares.." Nick cried.

"NICK!" Joe shouted. Nick took a deep breath, calming himself down.

"I'll pray for you man" David shook his head.

--

"You know … they could be talking about the time I sent Nick to the store" Miley noted, her voice trailing off.

"Oh my goodness" Selena shook her head, "you _didn't_!"

Miley's body shook with laughter, "I did! And I didn't even need them! I just wanted to see what the fans would say!"

"You are terrible!" Demi laughed.

"Guys, I think we need to take matters into our own hands" Taylor sighed. "What do you mean?" Selena asked, snuggling deeper into her sleeping bag.

**  
10 Minutes Later …**

"T … I don't feel right about this" Selena pouted. There they were, standing outside of Mitchell's house. Well _Selena_ was standing; Taylor was standing on her shoulders trying to get a peak into Mitchell's bedroom. "And why did we have to put black marks on our cheeks?" Selena added. "It makes us look tougher now come on! Try and lift me up higher!" Taylor exclaimed.

"Think we should tell her?" Miley whispered to Demi who were both standing on the sidelines. "What? That that's not Mitchell's bedroom? Really his parents?" Demi asked. Miley nodded. "Eh, they can find out on their own" Demi shrugged her shoulders.

--

"It's 1 freaking AM Joe! Can we just go to sleep?" Mitchell begged. "No! Not until we figure this out!" Joe exclaimed. Nick fell back onto the pile of pillows spread out on Mitchell's bed while David sank back into Mitchell's beanie bag chair.

_CRASH_

"SHIT!" a muffled voice came from outside. "Did you guys hear that?" Mitchell's ears perked up. "You mean did I hear a girl cussing and your garbage cans crashing?" Joe asked, "Yeah, yeah I did"

--

"Why didn't you tell me that was his parent's room!?" Taylor exclaimed. Selena rubbed her neck that was aching. "Thanks T!" she groaned, "I'm probably gonna have to see a doctor after this and what am I going to say? _Oh one of my best friends was standing on my shoulders while trying to spy on my best friend's parents in their bedroom at 1 AM?_"

No one answered her, ignoring her completely. "We didn't know!" Demi exclaimed, blushing madly; thank God it was dark out!

--

"I'm not going out there!" Nick exclaimed, "It could be those crazy 12 year old girls again!"

"Honestly?" David exclaimed, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"Fine!" Mitchell sighed, "I'll go out there"

"That 'a boy!" Joe slapped him on the back. Mitchell winced at the contact.

--

A light came on in the backyard, "Hello?" Mitchell's voice echoed in the cold whispers of the wind, "Who's out there?"

"Oh shit…" Miley winced.


	3. Answers

"If it's you girls who were pointing and laughing at me at the store last time… that wasn't very nice!" Nick shouted out the door. The next thing the girls heard was a slap and a "Jeez!" coming from Nick.

"We have to hide!" Taylor hissed, pulling on Miley's arm to guide her towards the fallen garbage cans. "Where?" Demi whispered. They all followed Taylor over towards Mitchell's old tree house. "Ok..." Taylor sighed once they were out of ear shot and eye sight from the boys, "We're going to have to split up"

"NO!" Selena gasped, a little too loud. "Shh!" all three girls ordered. Selena ignored them, "In the movies, when people split up it never leads to anything good!"

"Point taken" Taylor sighed.

"Ok, there's only one thing we can do…" Miley winced.

--

"Maybe we should wake up your parents" Nick offered.

"Are you crazy!?" Joe exclaimed, "We are men! Not wimpy little boys!"

"Psh, maybe _we_ are" Mitchell started, "But, I don't know about David over there…" he pointed over towards the boy who was standing next to the grill, his knees shaking and pointing his cell phone frantically all around the yard trying to use the light to see better.

All of the sudden here was a stretch of black running across the backyard.

"GUYS!" David yelled.

--

"Running was our only option!?" Demi exclaimed, already out of breath.

"It was either that or camping out in the tree house for the rest of the night!" Miley answered, keeping her focus on their exit.

"Actually it's morning!" Selena corrected them.

"SHUT UP!" all three girls screamed at her.

They were only about 20 feet away from the back gate when the boys noticed them and they heard someone scream, "GUYS!"

--

"Those are totally the girls man!" Nick took a hold of Joe's collar and started shaking him, "they're not nice, I'm telling you!" he whispered.

A slap was sounded, once again. "GET A FREAKING GRIP MAN!" Joe screamed; causing the girls who were running across the lawn to move faster. "Quick, get 'em before they get away!" Mitchell demanded. The four boys immediately started running towards the dark shadows. "NICK! RUN FOR THE GATE!" Mitchell ordered.

--

Taylor inhaled a sharp breath, "MC, RUN FOR THE GATE! GET IT OPEN QUICK!" she hissed under her breath. Miley did as she was told, using her long legs as a secret weapon; running faster then the rest. Once her hand wrapped around the gate's handle and she began to open it, someone stopped her. Nick placed his hand on hers and smiled. Even if it was dark, they could both tell it was them.

"Ni-" she started. She was in deep shit. "Shh…" he smiled, placing his finger to his lip to silence her. He then grabbed her hand and dragged her off to the side of the house.

Joe, David and Mitchell finally got to the gate. "AHA!" Joe exclaimed, pointing his index finger at the three girls arriving at the gate. "Crap" Demi sighed.

--

"What the freak?" Mitchell exclaimed, "Why are you guys here at …" he looked down at his watch and his eyebrows shot up to the top of his forehead, "2 AM!"

David watched Selena squirm uncomfortably behind Demi and Taylor. "Who are you young people? We seem to be lost. Can you please tell us where your nearest train station is?" Taylor asked, using a British accent. David rolled his eyes and Selena giggled in the back, earning a foot stomping from Demi. "AFF!" Selena squealed holding her foot in pain. "Directions to the train station?" Joe raised his eyebrow, "Oh yeah I can tell you where that is. It's right next to the company called "Train Station my ass!"

The backyard lights then came on and they all turned their heads in the direction of the back porch. There stood Mitchell's grandma leaning against the side of the door frame, holding her silk robe in place. "Nama!" Mitchell smiled, nervously. "H-hi! What are, uh, what are you doing up so late?"

Joe turned to look at Mitchell, _was he sweating?_"I could ask you the same question" she smiled over at the kids.

"We were just-" Mitchell started.

She raised her hand to stop him and laughed softly, "I was a teenager once too Mitch. Whatever you're doing … be safe." She eyed the girls, "_Really safe_" she emphasized those words staring at the three nervous girls across the yard.

Their eyes grew wide in horror, "Oh my _God_!" Demi exclaimed, "Mitchell!?! Psh, never! I mean he's cute … but it's Mitchell! Nama, we would never-"

"Good night kids!" she cut her off, walking back inside the house and closing the glass door behind her.

Everyone stared at the glass door for a little while, in complete shock. "Was she referring to us…" Mitchell started.

"Uh-huh" Selena nodded her head.

"I, I think so" Taylor's body shook with disgust.

Of course Mitchell's Nama would have to move in with their family the night they found the girls in their backyard.

"Pretending that never happened … what are you guys doing here?" Joe narrowed his eyes at the girls.

"Well we were planning on spying on you to see what-" Selena started.

"SELENA!" Taylor and Demi exclaimed.

Selena blushed in embarrassment. "Woopsie" she giggled. "We were just coming to see you guys! Making sure you were safe and all" Taylor tried to cover up Selena's slip up. "Right.." David nodded, totally not believing her. Taylor sighed, "Fine, we were curious"

"About what?" Mitchell asked.

"About.." Demi started.

"Hey!" Selena cut in, "Where's Miley?"

The three girls looked around the yard curiously. Joe's eyebrow rose in curiosity, "And Nick…" he added.

David cleared his voice in embarrassment, "I uh, I think I found them" he blushed while pointing over towards the side of the house. Sure enough, there were Nick and Miley. Miley pushed up against the wall while Nick was practically devouring any inch of skin showing on her neck. "I've got an idea…" Selena smirked walking a little closer towards to the couple. She cupped her hands around her mouth and sucked in a deep breath before screaming, "COPS!"

They didn't move an inch, didn't even flinch. Selena pouted, walking back to the group, "That worked on me and Dav- I mean… just forget it" she bowed her head, trying to hide her now reddening cheeks.

Still watching the two sucking each others faces off, Taylor sighed. "Well, we all know what's running through Nick's head right now"

Joe let out a small laugh, "And Miley's"

"Ironic really…" Demi muttered.

"What is?" David asked.

"N-nothing. It was just that. Well, ok. It was just that we were wondering what you guys talked and thought about when you were together" she blushed, "That's all"

Joe let out an exasperated gasp, "Are you serious!?"

"Us too!" David exclaimed.

Selena rolled her eyes, "See – if we had just asked them, they would have told us. What did I tell you before!?"

"On 3 we say what we really talk about" Mitchell declared.

"1"

"2"

"3"

"You guys" everyone said in unison.

Silence.

Then everyone broke out into laughter. "Figures" Demi rolled her eyes.

Miley broke away from the kiss to catch some air and immediately noticed everyone laughing. "Oh no" her eyes widened. She ran out of Nick's arms, leaving him confused and alone in the dark.

Running towards the group she screamed, "YOU TOLD THEM ABOUT HOW I TRIPPED OVER YOUR CAT AND FELL DOWN YOUR STAIRS EARLIER!?"

More laughter erupted from the teens.

"No" Demi managed to get out in between laughs, "But you just did!"

Miley blushed. "I think we should leave" Taylor giggled, "I don't want another run in with Nama"

"Nama?" Miley knitted her eyebrows together, "She's here?"

"Long story" Selena sighed.

"Please tell me she didn't lock the glass door" David winced.

Mitchell looked over towards the door, sure enough; it was locked.

"Greeeeaaat" his smile was drooling in sarcasm.

"Night guys" the girls smiled as the headed towards the gate.

--

The boys started walking towards the gate and Nick caught up with them. "Hey" Nick nudged Joe, "You uh, you didn't tell them about how we mostly talk about Mitchell's collectible Power Ranger dolls right?" he whispered.

"THEY'RE FIGURES! ACTION _FIGURES_!" Mitchell shouted.

--

Shouting could be heard down the street. The girls continued walking down the empty road, "Screaming about Mitchell's dolls?" Taylor guessed.

"Most likely"

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**Done. Done. Annnddd done. *sigh* I thought it was kind of a crappy ending .. but, OH WELL! I hope you guys enjoyed it :) I had SO much fun writing it :)**

**xxEmilyKearsexx**


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